Arachnophobia
I
don't trust spiders, even when they're dead.
I was cleaning my kitchen
counters this morning, and had wiped one section down with a Clorox
wipe and was working on the next. I turned to set something down and
spotted a dead spider on the counter I had just cleaned.
I
debated. I should remove it, but what if this is a trick? What if the
minute I reach out to touch him he jumps up and sinks his fangs into my
hand? Or what if he's a decoy? And as I'm cleaning him up, another
spider repels down from the ceiling and lands in my hair, undetected, to
attack me at a later time.
I decided to clean all around the
spider, then ask my husband to clean the spider up. He isn't afraid of
anything and he's bald, so he would notice a spider running across his
head.
This is arachnophobia my
friends. Don't ever ask me again why I am afraid of spiders. They are
Ninjas, obviously. Tiny, poisonous Ninjas that stalk around your house
unnoticed until one day they're crawling on you, looking for a tender
place to bite.
Luke laughed at me, of course, and removed it, but I am still left wondering where the frack it came from and who killed it. I didn't kill it. Is there some sort of demon cannibalistic spider in my house? How big might this thing be? My mind is telling me it's probably the size of a terrier and we should burn the house to the ground to prevent it from laying any eggs.
This experience has left me with some questions, such as:
Is there a spider Thunderdome under my toaster?
Should I move the toaster and clean under it, or pretend it's glued to the counter top?
What kills a spider?
Seriously, what kills a spider?
A bigger spider?
It's a bigger spider, isn't it?
I have to go finish touching all my doorknobs 3 times. Have a good day!
LOL I know that feeling well. thankfully living where I do spiders aren't an issue. I thought of the Meme of a burning house with the caption "Saw a spider and I panicked." though I'm sure I would do the same.
ReplyDeleteThat's a running joke in our household. My husband will calmly remove them, and I've been known to do everything down to spray them with hairspray and scorch the bathroom rug in a panic. I am really terrified of them. It doesn't help that they always seem to find me in my bed or on my bath towel.
DeleteI hate to tell you this, but that dead spider was probably not a spider, but the remains of an exoskeleton that used to belong to a spider. So in a way, it was a bigger spider that just outgrew his skin.
ReplyDeleteDon't tell me that! Yuck! :(
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