I was cleaning my kitchen
counters this morning, and had wiped one section down with a Clorox
wipe and was working on the next. I turned to set something down and
spotted a dead spider on the counter I had just cleaned.
debated. I should remove it, but what if this is a trick? What if the
minute I reach out to touch him he jumps up and sinks his fangs into my
hand? Or what if he's a decoy? And as I'm cleaning him up, another
spider repels down from the ceiling and lands in my hair, undetected, to
attack me at a later time.
I decided to clean all around the
spider, then ask my husband to clean the spider up. He isn't afraid of
anything and he's bald, so he would notice a spider running across his
head. This is arachnophobia my
friends. Don't ever ask me again why I am afraid of spiders. They are
Ninjas, obviously. Tiny, poisonous Ninjas that stalk around your house
unnoticed until one day they're crawling on you, looking for a tender
place to bite.
Luke laughed at me, of course, and removed it, but I am still left wondering where the frack it came from and who killed it. I didn't kill it. Is there some sort of demon cannibalistic spider in my house? How big might this thing be? My mind is telling me it's probably the size of a terrier and we should burn the house to the ground to prevent it from laying any eggs.
This experience has left me with some questions, such as:
Is there a spider Thunderdome under my toaster?
Should I move the toaster and clean under it, or pretend it's glued to the counter top?
What kills a spider?
Seriously, what kills a spider?
A bigger spider?
It's a bigger spider, isn't it?
I have to go finish touching all my doorknobs 3 times. Have a good day!